Friends,

Welcome to the first room.

There was really only one place I could start.

Marci Surfas has been my mentor for two years, and I lovingly blame her for my jump out of corporate life. She flipped a $50M real estate portfolio and raised $10M in capital, starting in her 50s, with no one in her family having done it before her. 

Then she turned around and started teaching other women how to skip the mistakes she had already paid for.

We got on a call last week. She had the World Cup playing in the background and was about to take her dogs to the beach. I asked her the questions I actually wanted answered, and I left the call a little annoyed at my old self, in the best possible way. 

Here is our conversation.

Marci, you're my mentor, but for readers meeting you for the first time: who do you help, and how do you see your role?

A: I work with women in their second act. Not necessarily over 50. The woman whose kids are grown, or who got divorced, or whose husband passed away, and who is finally ready to get into her own thing. I'm the guide. She's the hero. A lot of women find me later in life. You found me early. And it's really a whole-life thing, because financial stress bleeds into everything. I'm honest that this is a hard business. Everybody sells it like it's easy. It's not. So I show women the mistakes I already made and paid for, so they don't have to. I pay for speed. At my age, you want to do things faster, better, with less risk.

What version of yourself did you have to leave behind to break free?

A: The one who thought she needed permission. There was a time I wanted to buy ten houses in Bend, Oregon for $80,000 each. Everybody told me no, that it was a bad idea. I should have just done it. Even though you're a woman in your home, the finances are yours too. Mark [my husband] doesn't sign for anything I buy. He's not involved. This is a business you can really do on your own, because the loans and financing aren't conventional. It all comes down to taking massive action.

What would you tell a woman who's afraid she'll do it wrong?

A: Invest in yourself. Take the classes, get the coaching, do all of it, and budget for it every year, because you should be learning forever. There's no reason to figure this out alone. Just be careful of the fly-by-night stuff that's dangerous financially. If someone promises you 40% interest in three months, a lot of people lose everything. And get into the rooms. Go to the events. Nobody talked to me about real estate, not even our financial advisor, because advisors don't make money when you buy real estate. They make it when you buy stocks and funds. But every smart, wealthy person invests in real estate. Nobody in my family did it. Nobody in Mark's did. We figured it out ourselves at 50 and 55.

You run a demanding business. I saw it firsthand in Newport Beach. What do you protect, no matter how busy you are?

A: First thing in the morning, I take the dogs to the beach. They make me happy. It's that simple. I try to stay in the creative zone first, not the stress zone. Don't do accounting the second you wake up. My husband and I learned transcendental meditation years ago, twenty minutes morning and night, and it's a game changer. There's a reason all the most successful people do it. Drink a big glass of water, move your body. And do the thing that actually makes you happy. For me that's travel, seeing my kids, and, honestly, walking around Home Depot with my phone off. When I'm there I think, thank god I'm here.

I’ve never seen anyone more excited about bringing people together. Why does community matter so much to you?

A: I think people, especially women, miss out on this [community] because nobody gives it any attention. When I have a bad day, the best thing I can do is serve somebody. Introducing people, matching people, mentoring. When you give, it's far more rewarding. And women my age can lose the friends who don't understand the chapter they're in. A lot of my friends aren't working anymore, so they can't relate. They ask me all the time why I'm still working. To me it's the weirdest question. So building community with the people who do get it is one of the most rewarding things you can do.

Where have you put your own capital this year?

A: A pivot, honestly. My student-rental portfolio in New Orleans got upended when the school required kids to live on campus through junior year. Leases broke, last fall was nearly empty, and a lot of my money went to carrying that. Here's the lesson: our fund doesn't do capital calls. The partners take the loss with me on the K-1. I'd probably build something different into the next fund, so be mindful of that when you set up your own and raise money. 

If you had to defend one expense to the death, what is it?

A: Investing in yourself. Pay for coaching. Pay for a mentor. You said it yourself, that you don't want the diamonds or the purses and you just want the coaching. I have one ring I wear every day, and that was after fifteen years. Education is the one thing no one can take away from you. This year I took a tax program. I was ready for it. I needed it.

You teach this, but you're the first to admit you're still working on your own balance. What are you still figuring out?

A: I don't go to the gym like I'm supposed to. I'm still in the phase where I work seven days a week. I don't sleep well, I wake up at 1:30 in the morning. I ran the New York marathon once, I used to be really fit, and I stopped because I worked too much. But I'm joining a gym, getting my bloodwork done, building it back. You hear stories all the time of women who break down physically from stress. I don't want to get to that point.

This is where I got upset with myself. For years I did the opposite of what Marci teaches. I was too cheap to pay for speed because the slow, hard-earned way felt more honest.

Marci buys time. She pays to take things off her plate so there is room left for herself.

The bill comes due either way, and I would rather settle it in dollars than in years. The most expensive thing I own is the time that I refuse to put a price on. And I would want to arrive early, with the energy to enjoy my only life.

Every week I’ll invite you to take a mindful action

Pick one thing you've been telling yourself you'll figure out eventually, and this week put a price and a date on learning it from someone who has already done it. Not a course you'll watch someday, but a specific person and a specific skill, before the next issue lands. 

That's massive action, in one small move. Pay for speed. 

A few things worth your time

That's the first room. I'll leave the door open.

P.S. I'm lining up a few more of these conversations. If you're building both a portfolio and a life you actually want, or you know exactly who I should talk to, hit reply. I read every one.

More soon,

Sasha